Woody Allen-Phile is a tumblelog.

Top 10 Questions Millennials Ask the Internet

nevver:

1. What is a meme?
   One scumbag, one potato jesus, one girl obsessed with Goosebumps, a few dozen ashamed dogs and 400 million cats.
2. How do I use Pinterest?
   Step one: Manage your expectations.
3. How to boil an egg?
   Cover eggs with water, set on hot stove, turn off when boiling, let sit for 10 minutes, drain and cool, spend the next 45 minutes trying to peel the shells off.
4. What is hummus?
   An emulsified mixture of vegetables and stuff that makes your breath smell real bad.
5. What is twerking?
   This. This is twerking:
6. What is 401k?
   Hint: It’s not short for $401,000. It’s short for “start saving money unless you want to retire at 95.”
7. What is The Great Gatsby about?
   Apparently you spent sophomore year watching Ally McBeal reruns. You want the Cliffs Notes?
   Booze, money, flappers, crime, deception.
8. What is a hashtag?
   Just put a “#” in front of every word you type … like everyone else on the Internet.
9. What is a narcissist?
   Let me guess: Someone called you one, but you didn’t know what it meant, so you had to search for the actual meaning of the word. Not so vain, self-centered, smug, egocentric or inordinately fascinated with ourselves now, are we?
10. How to tie a tie?
    You’re on your own with this one.